Hello.

I am passionate about combating domestic violence, especially in the church. I’ve brought together some of the material I’ve developed on domestic violence here. I hope it will be helpful.

God bless you.

Domestic violence

Why we pursued prosecution

By |

It was 19 February, 2013 when Mum and I walked into the police station in Cairns and reported decades of crimes that had taken place in our home over the forty years leading up to that day. A few weeks ago, more than ten years later, we finally closed that chapter as the judge read out the sentence against my father, Rev. Larry Harris (Illawarra Mercury). He has now been convicted on nine criminal counts

The abuser’s arsenal

By |

“Why does she stay? It doesn't make sense!” An abusive husband with a Bible-believing wife has an advantage—a secret weapon. The Bible, used in a twisted way, enables him to habitually control his wife and children and get that to which he feels entitled. There are a variety of verses in his arsenal, but his Tsar Cannon is God telling wives to submit to their husbands. If a self-serving husband can twist the meaning of

Books about marital abuse

By |

These are some of the books by Christian authors that are available for use in self-education about marital abuse - both domestic violence and emotional/mental/verbal abuse. I have read only a small percentage of this list, therefore I naturally do not endorse every word, but I do believe the authors to be experienced in helping both the abused and the abuser. There is something to be learned from every person with whom we cross paths.

Why marital counseling is not an option

By |

It is natural for pastors and counsellors unfamiliar with the true nature of spouse abuse to assume that because a couple is married, meeting with them together makes sense. But the National Domestic Violence Hotline states that …in order for couples counselling to be successful, both partners must be willing to take responsibility for their actions and make adjustments to their behaviour. Abusive people want all of the power and control in the relationship and

Reconciliation after separation

By |

After an abuse victim has separated from her husband due to repetitive and serious sin, she will be faced with deciding what her response will be when he approaches her about getting back together. Whether he comes with charm, tears, or threats, it is crucial for her to first have full assurance that his heart is broken over the pain he has caused, he no longer minimises or justifies his sin, he welcomes consequences and

Abuse and the church

Child protection at church

By |

I was recently involved in preparing a child protection policy for our church. We were given a template by our insurer which was really great as it prompted us to put a policy in place early. Even though our children's ministries are still small, we're now prepared to offer a safe environment and our people are trained so that in the case of a bad situation arising, our people know who to talk to and

The church’s response to abuse

By |

"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.” - Deitrich Bonhoeffer   She comes to her pastor trembling, testing his reaction to her tip-of-the-iceberg disclosure of the cruelty that persists behind the closed doors of her home. Not sure she will even be believed, she has forced herself into this vulnerable position because she is desperate.

The Shepherd

By |

His smile, the instrument of vice; The evil lurks beneath the nice. And truth, a shade to hide the light Dare never interfere with right. See wounded souls, they shrink in fear; He holds the sword of justice here. And woe to those poor sheep he leads, In pastures green, the shepherd feeds...

When church discipline is sin

By |

We all know intuitively that there is a line between giving your child a smack and physically abusing him. While we may draw our lines in slightly different places, all decent people understand that there is a line and crossing it is evil. Church discipline is similar, but when it comes to church discipline, where is the line between loving confrontation and abusive harassment? Recent decades have seen a resurgence in the practice of biblical

Sixteen reasons crime should not be handled in-house

By |

Ministry means working with people. And people are sinners. So those who are ministering to others will at times find themselves knee deep in messy situations. Unfortunately, these situations often involve criminal behaviour which has never been reported to the civil authorities. Probably the most common instances are child abuse (physical, emotional, sexual, or neglect) and domestic/family violence. EDIT: Based on some of the comments, I wanted to add a quick clarification here. I am

FAQ

The FAQ section is something I’m interested in starting up. I’ve answered so many questions in writing via email and have thought that perhaps there would be benefit in getting some of those answers organised here. If you think this feature could be beneficial, please use the form on the right to let me know your questions and I’ll do my best to answer them.

No information connecting you to your question will be published. Your identity will not be shared with anyone.

I cannot give personalised counsel in the FAQ so questions may be edited to make them more general. If you would like a response that pertains directly to the specifics of your situation, please let me know and I will do my best to contact you.

FAQ 1 answer here.

FAQ 2 answer here

FAQ 3 answer here.

“I have sometimes addressed this sort of corruption and evil more generally in the Independent Baptist (IB) churches in Australia. But with nameless generality comes the luxury of dismissal as unproven allegation. The things we document here will forever remove that luxury.”

Podcasts

Consent in Marriage (Part Two)                      Listen | Transcript

Consent in Marriage (Part One)                      Listen | Transcript

Questions for FAQ

Names will not be published.