Wouldn’t a godly wife meekly submit “in everything, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:24) – including domestic violence – “til death us do part”? (statistically, death at his hand is a real possibility)
Isn’t it “acceptable with God” to “endure grief, suffering wrongfully”? (I Peter 2 & 3)
In a previous post, we saw that God hates abuse, labeling it evil and wicked. Will she “win” her husband by bowing to and enabling his sinful, wicked pattern of cruelty, lies and violence?
Submission is to God, not to her husband’s pattern of evil. Removing the object of his sin (her!) may open his eyes to the consequences of his evil and soften his heart to seek help. She is “doing him good”.
Call the American National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or go online to www.thehotline.org.
Both organisations help victims (as well as family and friends) with 24-7 access to information, individual counselling (including live chat), local shelters, survivors’ stories, how to make a safety plan, etc. in multiple languages.
Hiding a small bag with clothes (for the children also), money, keys, phone, driver’s license, car registration, credit cards, medications and address book can be a lifesaver when a quick escape is needed. Make sure you have access to a car that runs, keep petrol in the tank and have a careful plan.
“”Marriage is honourable” but sometimes we honour it best
by ending that caricature of it that makes it a mockery.”1
Abusive husbands do not take kindly to losing the one who catered to their every whim. Keep your whereabouts hidden, if you have any fears about you or your children’s safety.
The above organisations will help you obtain a Domestic Violence Order (DVO/IVO/other names depending on locality) from the court. It is free and if your abuser breaks the conditions (ex: not allowed within 100 metres of your place of residence or employment), ring the police immediately (even for the first smallest infraction) and he can be arrested.
Women’s Services Networkhas ideas for preventing your abuser from stalking your smartphone – locking it with a passcode, disabling the GPS and knowing what every app does (it’s possible for him to watch you in your home).
The courts can also determine issues like property division and child-care.
Doesn’t I Corinthians 6 Forbid Her From Taking Him to Court?
Jason Harris has written an InFocus post that has an excellent answer to that question. This is a criminal matter, not a civil matter. The case is not ‘her against him’ – it is ‘the Crown v him’. He broke the law.
Let Go of Trying to Change Him
The future is his decision.
The present is yours!
Like David when his authority King Saul tried to harm him, flee before it’s too late.
Joy studied elementary education before going on to teach at the primary school level as well as homeschooling for twenty-six years. Joy has touched the lives of thousands through her ministry in state Religious Education, Sunday Schools, and Holiday Bible Clubs as well as through her speaking at various seminars and retreats. Joy is also a gifted musician and has collaborated on multiple recording projects as well as maintaining a private teaching studio for over thirty years. Joy currently does missions support spreading her time between Uganda, Vanuatu, and her home in Australia. Joy has seven children and twenty grandchildren. You can contact Joy at firstname.lastname@example.org.