I am passionate about combating domestic violence, especially in the church. I’ve brought together some of the material I’ve developed on domestic violence here. I hope it will be helpful.

God bless you.

Domestic violence

Signposts of true repentance

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"A truly repentant person does not negotiate the consequences of his actions."1 Scene: an abused wife has followed Biblical principles and the couple is now separated. One day, her unrepentant husband shows up at the door with her favourite flowers. He says he's had time to think about their relationship. He's sorry, it won't happen again, and he wants to get back together. He needs her. God's way is reconciliation (I Corinthians 7:11) and no

Biblical options for the emotionally abused

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What should a wife do when her husband has a pattern of abusing her emotionally and verbally (but not physically)? Defining emotional abuse Abuse is not the occasional burst of anger, selfishness, or criticism. Genuine abuse equals the Biblical term “oppression.” Abuse is a pattern of toxic behaviour (see chart) intended to maintain control over the woman whom he vowed before God and witnesses to love, cherish, and protect. My post Defining Emotional Abuse further

Biblical options for the physically abused

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Question: Wouldn't a godly wife meekly submit “in everything, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:24)—including domestic violence—“til death us do part”? (statistically, death at his hand is a real possibility) Question: Isn't it “acceptable with God” to “endure grief, suffering wrongfully”? (I Peter 2 & 3) In a previous post, we saw that God hates abuse, labeling it evil and wicked. Will she “win” her husband by bowing to and enabling his sinful, wicked pattern

The victim’s acknowledgement

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A lady tells her pastor's wife Lauren, “I wish I could talk to you about problems that I'm having in my marriage but I don't think you'd understand. Your marriage is so perfect and your husband is so gentle.” Lauren says something about how the Bible has all the answers. However... deep in her subconscious, something made Lauren feel like screaming, but she squelched it with, “Every marriage has some problems.” Horrifyingly, the hidden facts

God’s opinion of abuse

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And so begins Series 4 of our marital abuse posts: helping the abused. Up until now, my goal has been to define abuse. Below is a list of the topics we've covered so far. Series 1: How to spot an abuser Series 2: Why the abused stay Series 3: Why abusers abuse Now, Series 4 will explore what we can do about what we know. God's opinion of abuse It may seem useless and even

Abuse and the church

Love a good sex scandal?

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The rise of sex scandals in modern life is amazing and sad. While nothing shocks me anymore, I continue to be disappointed by the number of leaders—Christian and non-Christian—who lack integrity at high levels. It does seem that absolute power corrupts, and that corruption usually takes the form of sexual abuse. So when the details of sex scandals emerge, we minions gobble the juicy details up. The whole business model of gossip magazines are built

8 marks of a dangerous church

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I have, over my lifetime, had the opportunity to interact with hundreds of churches around the world. I've seen some wonderful, healthy churches. I've also seen some dangerous churches. Here are some marks of a dangerous church. Mark 1: The leadership structure has a lot of similarities to a totalitarian regime. This is the church where one leader has absolute power. He usually surrounds himself  with weak people who rarely contradict or question him. Extra

Dictators breed cowards

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When a dictator rules, one of three things will happen to the courageous: The courageous will stand up to the dictator and be mowed down. The courageous will stand up to the dictator and escape/survive and will be hated and feared by the dictator. The courageous will do nothing and will slowly become cowards. Those are the only options I can think of. That's why I conclude that...   dictators breed cowards   It's true

Let’s not fail the women

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By Dr. Jim Berg The purpose of confronting men in the church who are not fulfilling their obligations to their families is to restore those men to usefulness and to reconcile them to God and to their wives and families. Pastors today are concerned about the sad spiritual state of many men in the church. Every pastor rejoices when God gives him men who are godly pillars in the congregation, but most pastors would agree

Need help?

Click here for local domestic violence services as well as a list of Christian resources.

“I have sometimes addressed this sort of corruption and evil more generally in the Independent Baptist (IB) churches in Australia. But with nameless generality comes the luxury of dismissal as unproven allegation. The things we document here will forever remove that luxury.”


Consent in Marriage (Part Two)                      Listen | Transcript

Consent in Marriage (Part One)                      Listen | Transcript

Questions for FAQ

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