Hello.
I am passionate about combating domestic violence, especially in the church. I’ve brought together some of the material I’ve developed on domestic violence here. I hope it will be helpful.
God bless you.
Domestic violence
Why abusers abuse: Abusive background
In this series on why abusers abuse, we discussed the lust for power and how it turns into an addiction. One other idea to explore is the part an abuser's background plays in his current behaviour. Facts “In a family where violence is observed by the children, but not addressed in a healthy way, little boys and girls learn perverted views of how men and women are to relate to each other.”1 “85% of men
Why abusers abuse: Addiction
In the last post , I suggested that narcissistic obsession with power is the root of abusive behaviour. It does not take many instances in which a new husband exerts his authority at the expense of his wife—and she allows this (believing God wants her to submit to everything her husband says)—and a pattern is established. The abuser's sin nature becomes intoxicated with power and the behaviour pattern becomes entrenched. In spite of the destruction
Why abusers abuse: Power
Abuse is evil. God hates it!1 Why does an abuser abuse? What is going through his mind? Abuse of power Jason Harris explains the relationship between abuse and power. Abuse implies there is power given for the purpose of protecting and building those under the abuser's authority, not for self-serving purposes. Mere self-focus leads to passive abuse (neglect), but aggressive pursuit of selfish purposes, combined with a twisted view of power, leads to more active
Why the abused stay: Other reasons
This post looks at some reasons, other than fear, that the abused stay. Isn't this normal? One of the main reasons that the abused stay is that she, shockingly but genuinely, does not see herself as being abused. An abusive up-bringing may cause her to think her life is normal. That's all she knows. Having no friends to "compare notes" also keeps her blind. Or she lives in the delusion that each incident is merely
Why the abused stay: Fear (part 2)
Here are more fear-based reasons the abused stay. The reputation of Christ Another fear Christian wives have that makes them stay is thinking that a separation will hurt the cause of Christ—especially if her husband has a presence in the community or is a leader in the church (yes, he can be the pastor). What she should understand is that supporting and hiding the abuse is what will hurt the testimony of Christ. A while
Abuse and the church
FAQ
The FAQ section is something I’m interested in starting up. I’ve answered so many questions in writing via email and have thought that perhaps there would be benefit in getting some of those answers organised here. If you think this feature could be beneficial, please use the form on the right to let me know your questions and I’ll do my best to answer them.
No information connecting you to your question will be published. Your identity will not be shared with anyone.
I cannot give personalised counsel in the FAQ so questions may be edited to make them more general. If you would like a response that pertains directly to the specifics of your situation, please let me know and I will do my best to contact you.
