• For the whole month of November, missionaries Jeremy and Liz Pinero and I took my four little “grand-angels” and lived up in the mountains of Big Bay in Vanuatu doing all the… well… jungle-stuff—like washing our clothes in the river, crouching over a fire to cook, doing without power or […]

  • We all occasionally lose our tempers, but within a short time we realise the damage we’ve done and broken-heartedly ask for forgiveness and a restored relationship. Marital abuse is in a completely different universe. It is not an anger-problem, submission issue, or lack of good communication skills. Emotional/mental abuse is […]

  • Learning of the existence of this well-known pattern of behaviour is often a shock down to the very core of the abused’s soul. When that passes, a wave of immeasurable relief sweeps over this wife feeling uniquely alone, isolated, and trapped. It is the confirmation of her sanity after all. […]

  • Like the tiny destructive termite in part one, a marriage can be destroyed by “a thousand little razor-cuts of perpetual contempt, put-downs, sarcasm, lies, rudeness, rages, insults and silent treatments, even though a physical mark is never left.”1 Control As with physical violence, emotional and mental abuse has as its […]

  • So far, we’ve covered physical violence and the cycle of abuse, plus emotional/mental abuse. Another method an abuser uses to get and maintain control of his wife is… Financial abuse He may make her account for every dollar she spends, limit her access to money, and keep her in the […]

  • In the last five posts, we have covered physical and verbal abuse patterns, but this is, in concise form, how to spot an abuser before you marry one. “My boyfriend gets furious when I won’t dump all my friends and spend all my time with him. I was so thrilled […]