Domestic violence

“A truly repentant person does not negotiate the consequences of his actions.”1 Scene: an abused wife has followed Biblical principles and the couple is now separated. One day, her unrepentant husband shows up at the door with her favourite flowers. He says he’s had time to think about their relationship.

What should a wife do when her husband has a pattern of abusing her emotionally and verbally (but not physically)? Defining emotional abuse Abuse is not the occasional burst of anger, selfishness, or criticism. Genuine abuse equals the Biblical term “oppression.” Abuse is a pattern of toxic behaviour (see chart)

Question: Wouldn’t a godly wife meekly submit “in everything, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:24)—including domestic violence—“til death us do part”? (statistically, death at his hand is a real possibility) Question: Isn’t it “acceptable with God” to “endure grief, suffering wrongfully”? (I Peter 2 & 3) In a previous post,

A lady tells her pastor’s wife Lauren, “I wish I could talk to you about problems that I’m having in my marriage but I don’t think you’d understand. Your marriage is so perfect and your husband is so gentle.” Lauren says something about how the Bible has all the answers.

And so begins Series 4 of our marital abuse posts: helping the abused. Up until now, my goal has been to define abuse. Below is a list of the topics we’ve covered so far. Series 1: How to spot an abuser Series 2: Why the abused stay Series 3: Why

In this series on why abusers abuse, we discussed the lust for power and how it turns into an addiction. One other idea to explore is the part an abuser’s background plays in his current behaviour. Facts “In a family where violence is observed by the children, but not addressed

In the last post , I suggested that narcissistic obsession with power is the root of abusive behaviour. It does not take many instances in which a new husband exerts his authority at the expense of his wife—and she allows this (believing God wants her to submit to everything her

Abuse is evil. God hates it!1 Why does an abuser abuse? What is going through his mind? Abuse of power Jason Harris explains the relationship between abuse and power. Abuse implies there is power given for the purpose of protecting and building those under the abuser’s authority, not for self-serving

This post looks at some reasons, other than fear, that the abused stay. Isn’t this normal? One of the main reasons that the abused stay is that she, shockingly but genuinely, does not see herself as being abused. An abusive up-bringing may cause her to think her life is normal.

Here are more fear-based reasons the abused stay. The reputation of Christ Another fear Christian wives have that makes them stay is thinking that a separation will hurt the cause of Christ—especially if her husband has a presence in the community or is a leader in the church (yes, he