Right. So you finally find the perfect church.

The pastor, the preaching, the music, the fellowship… everything. It’s perfect.

And it’s a good thing because after all these years, you were beginning to think it didn’t exist.

But it does of course. You have proof. You’ve just found it.

Thus you dwell in heavenly oblivion as you relish the Utopian splendour of a truly perfect church.

The jolt

Then one day it happens.

Like a bolt of lightning.

Out of nowhere.

The pastor is wrong! WRONG! Like really, really wrong!

Then, as if it was staged, you find out that the deacon thinks the cleaners are lazy, the pianist gets annoyed at the ukulele player, the church’s snow white reputation was marred by a split in the ancient past, and worst of all, Miss Sandra told someone that you sing too loud!!!

You slowly sit down as the miserable reality begins to sink in… “my church is made up of… of… of… humans!”

Post-honeymoon grace

What makes it work once the adrenaline wears off? What happens when the honeymoon’s over? What oils the machine when you realise there are some people in your church that you just don’t get along with?

We could call it post-honeymoon grace.

It’s when you realise that you disagree with your pastor on some significant non-fundamentals and decide to agree to disagree and love him anyway.

It’s when you decide to look after Miss Sandra’s pet elephant while she’s away even though she thinks you sing too loud.

It’s when you reach out to what’s-his-face even though his views on the eschatological implications of the kingdom are dead wrong.

Post-honeymoon grace is when you realise that your pastor might be right, you might sing a little too loudly, and perhaps there’s a little room for difference on those eschatological implications… just a little.

Settling in

The best part of body life is when you’ve settled in for the long haul. It’s when you’ve gotten past the honeymoon and are really part of the family… foibles and all. It’s when you know the others and the others know you… and you still show grace to each other. Not a blind grace that can’t see the other’s faults, but a grace demonstrated in spite of the faults… like the grace God shows to us.

It’s post-honeymoon grace.

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About Jason Harris

Dr Jason Harris is a writer, pastor, and academic. He has authored multiple books, articles, and papers including his book Theological Meditations on the Gospel. Jason has a PhD from James Cook University as well as degrees in theology, music, accounting, and research. Jason has lived in Cairns, Australia since 2007 and serves as pastor at CrossPoint Church. You can contact Jason at jason@jasonharris.com.au.


  1. Robert Apps 12 November, 2009 at 7:12 am - Reply

    thanks Jason, I am glad you said nothing about the assistant pastor of this perfect church:)

  2. RoSeZ 12 November, 2009 at 9:02 am - Reply

    …or you can move churches… =P

    …I like the elephant part… =P

    Seriously, it was a good post, Jay! Thanks for sharing…

  3. Jason Harris 12 November, 2009 at 11:22 am - Reply


    lol… perhaps I needed one of those disclaimers “All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to persons or events…”

  4. lumpy 12 November, 2009 at 4:20 pm - Reply

    There is most certainly a marriage theme developing here Jason (with the notable exception of the “Bono Baptist” post last week!)

  5. Jason Harris 12 November, 2009 at 6:21 pm - Reply

    Who knows… maybe we could start an InFocus Dating Service. =P

  6. RoSeZ 12 November, 2009 at 10:14 pm - Reply

    Ooooh, can we use you as the first guinea pig? Let’s see now… who do we know who would be right for you…? Hmmm…

    I’ll think about it some more and get back to you. In the mean time, maybe you should open the comments section for suggestions!! =P

  7. Cristy Mock 13 November, 2009 at 10:02 am - Reply

    Great post, Jason. Yes, I agree, a disclaimer about all characters being fictional is good – I’ve been trying to figure out who Miss Sandra is. :)

  8. Jason Harris 13 November, 2009 at 10:25 am - Reply


  9. Jeremy 19 July, 2011 at 12:29 pm - Reply

    The best way to develop ‘post-honeymoon grace’ is to realise we are Christs’ church, not part of ‘Pastor Bob’s church’

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