In part one and two we saw that it is fear that drives the insecure person. While this helps us understand why the insecure person acts the way he does, it doesn’t bring us to a solution. In order to find the solution, we must find out what is driving the fear that drives this person. We’ve got to get to the heart of the problem.
The heart of the problem
The solution to insecurity lies in understanding that it is unbelief that drives fear and insecurity. First John 4:18 says “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect [mature] in love.” The person who understands the awesome and unconditional love of God for him will not be crippled by insecurity and fear. This passage teaches that as we become mature in our understanding of God’s love for us, perfect love will cast out our fear. Mature love and fear cannot co-exist at the same time in the same heart without a fight because perfect love “casts out” fear. The insecure person must learn to find their satisfaction and security in the unfailing and unchanging love of God. That is the only way to have stability in our interactions with God and with others.
The reason we allow fear to immobilise us is that we don’t believe that God is who he says he is. God says that he loves us (Jeremiah 31:3). If we choose belief, we will be able to enjoy our security in the love of Christ. If we choose unbelief, we will reap insecurity. God says he owns us (Isaiah 43:1). If we choose belief, we will reap security. If we choose unbelief, we will reap insecurity. God says he is doing something wonderful in our lives (Romans 8:28). If we choose belief, we will reap security. If we choose unbelief, we will reap insecurity.
Many believers today do not feel secure. They are constantly struggling to find acceptance; never able to do enough to feel confident in their relationship with God. This is why it is so important to realise that it is unbelief to try to earn God’s love. It is unbelief to try to earn God’s acceptance. If you’re a child of God, you already have it! Now you must choose belief. It is only a right relationship with a loving God that yields lasting security in the heart of the believer. Otherwise, we are left to the changing and unstable security of human relationships.
Could God love you more?
Someone has asked the question, “what could you do to make God love you more?” Think about it. To be more faithful in devotions? To get compete victory in your thought life? To stop sinning so much? To serve him more faithfully? To surrender for missions? If you are calculating a list of things you could do to make God love you more right now, you do not understand the love that God has for you. God does not love us because we love him. “We love him, because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).
If your soul is gripped by fear and insecurity, the answer is not to try harder. The answer is not to attempt to be worthy of God’s love. The answer is to begin to understand “the breadth, and length, and depth, and height” of the love that God already has for you (Ephesians 3:17-19). Paul says we’re to be “rooted and grounded in love.” He says that we are to “know the love of Christ.” He says that this kind of knowledge of God’s love eventually leads to being “filled with all the fulness of God”! Just think, when you get to know your God and his love for you in this way, you start to look like Christ to other people! How different this is from being unpredictable, evasive, and possessive.
Secure in Christ
The person who finds his security in Christ is freed from the need to manipulate and control. He is free from the constant self-focus. He is free to look to Jesus (Hebrews 12:2) and selflessly serve others. His heart truly rejoices as he sings texts like this one:
Loved with everlasting love,
Led by grace that love to know:
Spirit, breathing from above,
Thou hast taught me it is so!
O this full and perfect peace,
O this transport all divine—
In a love which cannot cease,
I am his, and he is mine.
Ephesians 2:4-6 explains that “God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, even when we were dead in sins, hath [brought us to life] together with Christ… and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus.” When Ephesians 2 security becomes powerful and active in a life, insecurity vanishes in the joy of complete acceptance in Christ.
When feelings of insecurity begin to rise in the heart, we must choose to meditate on what is true about God and we must choose belief. Unbelief will hurl us into the blackness of insecurity, but belief will settle our hearts and quiet our minds in the love and acceptance of God. You don’t have to earn it. You already have it in Christ.
In part four, we’ll look at the kind of God we have and the kind of love that he has for us.