When you’ve been hurt: Common confusions
It would be imprudent of me to conclude this series without making some important clarifications to what I have said up to now. There are, unfortunately, a number of teachings about forgiveness in the modern church which do grievous harm. Several come to mind that I address here. Releasing vs. forgetting Forgiveness is letting go. It is not forgetting. I know this contradicts the practically canonical "forgive and forget," but it's true. In fact, the
When you’ve been hurt: The results of right choices
Healing. Sweetness. Joy. Edification. Humility. If you try to make this stuff happen, you will fail. The stuff I talk about here is the fruit. The root is the forgiveness, compassion, benevolence, and prayer we looked at in part one. Part one is the means. Part two is the ends. If you focus on pursuing the ends as an end in itself, they will elude you. But a biblical response to hurt leads to increasing...
When you’ve been hurt: Making the difficult choices
It might be as simple as an insulting comment or as complex as childhood sexual abuse, but whatever we're dealing with, one thing is clear: We all get hurt at times. Sometimes we can overlook and move on. The damage is minimal. But when the hurt is too deep for that, it's easy for the wound to become infected. In fact, it's almost guaranteed. We come to hate the person who hurt us, we look
Relationship conflicts
A sad characteristic that follows some people is the need to be critical or in conflict. This 'way of relating' is often observed in 'independent churches' who have made an art form of it. However, conflict and criticism has also flowed over into how individuals from such backgrounds relate to other individuals in life in general.
How to run through the pain
With the 2012 London Olympics having come to a conclusion, many of us have witnessed the incredible efforts of talented athletes. Australia was somewhat disappointed with our overall medal result of seven gold and sixteen silver. One newspaper reported that government funding through the Australian Institute of Sport represented $10.6 million for each medal we achieved. But in more than dollar terms, the investment represented years (decades) of training, self-discipline, and painful exercise. Our Olympians
Bridging the emotional gap
One of the challenges Christians face is the "now, but not yet" reality of our salvation. We know that we have been bought by Christ, redeemed by his blood, forgiven by his grace, and set free from the power of sin. Yet we also know that we still live in a fallen world and we struggle with temptation, sin, and the daily grind of life. In our minds we know that we are declared righteous
Why the approval of God or the wilderness is a false dilemma
In Mark 1:11, Jesus rises from the waters of baptism and is greeted by God the Holy Spirit and God the Father who states simply his deep pleasure in his son: You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased. The struggling, faltering believer hardly dares to hope for a similar approval from God, and yet Romans 8:38-39 is direct: I am sure that... [nothing] will be able to separate us from the
How to disagree without falling out
A life principle I try to live by is to not burn bridges. You never know when you will need to cross them again. However, we often live life so pig-headedly that when we have a disagreement, we often go out in a blaze of glory, to accentuate our position. Who can forget Steven Slater's dramatically quitting his flight attendant's job at Jetblue. In the Christian ministry realm, this blaze of glory is often more
Feeling rejected?
Charles Simeon is a fascinating character study in rejection. Six years before Captain Cook sailed into Port Jackson, Simeon was an unloved English minister placed in a church where the people wanted someone else and they weren’t afraid to show it. Over a ten year period the congregation tried various things including locking the doors of the church and the family pews. His evangelical heart never resounded with his established audience and there is evidence
Lost for words
Have you ever found yourself at that point where you're lost for words? You've tried everything, you've done everything you can, and things still turn out bad? What should we do when we come to that place? Here are some meditations. 1) Move to the centre. When we can't explain it and we can't make sense of it, that's the time to move to the core of our faith. It's easy to be distracted by