The Abuser’s Arsenal

“Why does she stay? It doesn't make sense!” An abusive husband with a Bible-believing wife has an advantage - a secret weapon. The Bible, used in a twisted way, enables him to habitually control his wife and children and get that to which he feels entitled. There

By |2022-04-05T17:21:32+10:009 July, 2015|

How Can We Help the Sexual Abuse Victim?

With society's current focus on the Duggars, maybe it'd be a good idea to look into general principles of how to help the victims of sexual abuse. What does a victim deal with? The abuse paradigm is a unique issue in which we need to educate ourselves. “She feels more

By |2022-04-05T17:21:46+10:008 June, 2015|

The Church’s Response to Abuse

"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.” - Deitrich Bonhoeffer  She comes to her pastor trembling, testing his reaction to her tip-of-the-iceberg disclosure of the cruelty that persists behind the

By |2022-04-05T17:22:03+10:0011 May, 2015|

Books about Marital Abuse

These are some of the books by Christian authors that are available for use in self-education about marital abuse - both domestic violence and emotional/mental/verbal abuse. I have read only a small percentage of this list, therefore I naturally do not endorse every word, but I do believe the authors

By |2022-04-05T17:22:33+10:0028 March, 2015|

Why Marital Counseling is Not An Option

It is natural for pastors and counsellors unfamiliar with the true nature of spouse abuse to assume that because a couple is married, meeting with them together makes sense. But the National Domestic Violence Hotline states that … in order for couples counselling to be successful, both partners must be

By |2022-04-05T17:22:46+10:002 March, 2015|

Reconciliation After Separation

After an abuse victim has separated from her husband due to repetitive and serious sin, she will be faced with deciding what her response will be when he approaches her about getting back together. Whether he comes with charm, tears or threats, it is crucial for her to first have

By |2022-04-05T17:23:03+10:0019 February, 2015|

Signposts of True Repentance

"A truly repentant person does not negotiate the consequences of his actions." 1 Scene: an abused wife has followed Biblical principles and the couple is now separated. One day, her unrepentant husband shows up at the door with her favourite flowers. He says he's had time to think about their

By |2022-04-05T17:23:17+10:002 February, 2015|

Biblical Options for the Emotionally Abused

What should a wife do when her husband has a pattern of abusing her emotionally and verbally (but not physically)? Definition Abuse is not the occasional burst of anger, selfishness or criticism. Genuine abuse equals the Biblical term “oppression”. Abuse is a pattern of toxic behaviour (see chart) intended to

By |2022-04-05T17:26:17+10:0028 January, 2015|

Biblical Options for the Physically Abused

Q: Wouldn't a godly wife meekly submit “in everything, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:24) - including domestic violence - “til death us do part”? (statistically, death at his hand is a real possibility) Q: Isn't it “acceptable with God” to “endure grief, suffering wrongfully”? (I Peter 2 & 3)

By |2022-04-05T17:25:59+10:001 November, 2014|

The Victim’s Acknowledgement

A lady tells her pastor's wife Lauren, “I wish I could talk to you about problems that I'm having in my marriage but I don't think you'd understand. Your marriage is so perfect and your husband is so gentle.” Lauren says something about how the Bible has all the answers.

By |2022-04-05T17:27:29+10:0010 August, 2014|
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